


Observation, Hypothesis, Experiment

by mific



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Scientific Method
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 21:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1361752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mific/pseuds/mific
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock applies the scientific method to John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Observation, Hypothesis, Experiment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angelgazing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelgazing/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [angelgazing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelgazing/pseuds/angelgazing) in the [MandatoryMinimums](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/MandatoryMinimums) collection. 



> **Prompt:** Any fandom: Kissing is just like everything else: practice makes perfect.  
>  A final story to boost my fic count in Sherlock (TV), for Remix Redux 11.

 

Observation

It was difficult to locate suitable research material to study. Porn was no use at all – there was very little kissing, and blow jobs were no substitute – the anatomy was too different to be of any practical help. Next Sherlock explored what the industry labelled “girl-on-girl” action, despite the fact that after a certain amount of initial female kissing and groping, the scenes rapidly degenerated into tedious orgies with bizarrely shaven, muscle-bound men. Lesbian porn was a possibility, but was surely not the best data-source for studying how to kiss a man. In the end he was forced to resort to gay kissing montages from Youtube. Unhappy-looking cowboys featured prominently, for no very clear reason.

 

Hypothesis

Based on his research, Sherlock theorised that his greatest chance of success lay in a full-frontal assault. He would overwhelm any objections John might have with a veritable maelstrom of kissing. Immobilize, tilt, open, tongue, grope, he repeated to himself. Positioning was all – get John up against a wall, angle his head to avoid unfortunate nose-duels, then open John's mouth and get their tongues into play as rapidly and thoroughly as possible. From his research, he hypothesised that John would now be fully engaged in the kiss, higher functions off-line, allowing Sherlock to get his hands in John's hair and up under his shirt. It was a solid plan, well-grounded in the data he'd collected, and he looked forward to implementing it. He considered wearing a cowboy hat as in the videos, but there was a time and a place for costumes, and he suspected it might just confuse the issue. They could work up to that.

 

Experiment

In the event, matters unfolded somewhat differently. Sherlock had timed it perfectly – the room was warm, they were pleasantly keyed up after the successful conclusion of a case, and no-one was injured. He'd intended to wait until they'd shed their coats, but the prospect of putting his theories into practice – and possibly the arrest they'd just facilitated: being right was stimulating – had left Sherlock considerably more aroused than he'd expected. He pushed John up against the wall, angled his head and just went for it, sticking his tongue into John's mouth aggressively. John made a startled noise, eyes wide – were you supposed to shut them? The videos were unclear on that point. Then Sherlock's arms were grasped and John was manhandling _him_. Sherlock's heart sank, because of course John was trained in hand-to-hand and had already thrust a leg between Sherlock's, the better to knee him in the balls in retribution. But no, John had Sherlock up against the wall in turn, hands cradling his face, and his mouth was gentle, sucking Sherlock's lips, licking into his mouth and sliding their tongues together. Sherlock stored up the sensations of John's lips against his, of John's teeth grazing his throat. So much data, but he found he couldn't analyse it, lost in the heat and wetness of the kiss. Observer bias, he thought vaguely, unreliable data. And then John got his hands on Sherlock's arse and ground against him, and that was the end of objectivity.

 

\- end -


End file.
